THE SOUL'S THREE MIRRORS
Our souls are mirrored by nature, by divinity and by others. Each day of our lives, our souls must seek these mirrors and gaze into them.
Our souls mirror nature, divinity and others. We must keep this mirror polished.
FEELINGS OF THE SOCIAL SOUL
What are the three feelings we experience through others?
Sympathy, antipathy, and empathy.
Sym- means with. Anti- means against. Em- means in. We join with others, we push against others and we live in others and others live in us.
We need feelings of sympathy and antipathy to give us our sense of identity. We need empathy to give us a true sense of the other and to have those wonderful soul-enriching moments of forgetting ourselves, of pure unselfishness.
Just as the wheel of colors comes out of red, yellow and blue, all the colors of our social life come from the infinite mixtures of sympathy, antipathy and empathy.
Like colors, our social feelings of sympathy, antipathy and empathy have hues, values, and intensities. The hue of a social feeling reveals which of the three primary feelings is dominant when we experience the other. The value of a social feeling is the degree to which we are awake or sensitive to the mixture of feelings. The intensity of the social feeling is the degree to which this feeling saturates the experience of the other.
PAINTING PORTRAITS
Choose a family member, a friend, a colleague, a character in a book, TV show or movie, and a public personality. With each one paint a portrait from your feelings of sympathy, antipathy and empathy. What do you like about them? What do you dislike? And finally, what do you just “get” about them? Consider the hue, value and intensity of your feelings for each of them.
Probably you will choose the others for which you feel mostly sympathy. We are always more comfortable with those we like. Take the risk to paint the feeling portrait of those you dislike.
When you paint with sympathy and antipathy you are actually painting "self " portraits as sympathy and antipathy are about what you are “with” and “against.” These "self" portraits teach you so much about your own soul life.
When you paint with empathy, you are painting a true image of the other. You see them without the veils of your own likes and dislikes. The empathy portraits take you to feelings that are new and different. They enrich and expand you soul.
Who has painted portraits of you? What other souls see you with sympathy? With antipathy? With empathy?
Throughout the year, pay attention to the feelings of sympathy, antipathy and empathy. Make it a practice to study your social life. This will keep your soul socially bright and clear.
DISREGARD
There is one dreadful, painful social experience, but it is the proof of our need for others. There is nothing more painful or damaging, than disregard. When you are not reflected by another’s soul, when you find no mirror, you feel like you have fallen into the abyss of non-existence. It is like your soul cannot breathe.
In the coming year, do not let others fall into an abyss when they seek their reflection in your soul. See the other, no matter who they are, no matter what your social feelings. Keep your social mirror polished.
GAZING
At the beginning of this message, I used the word “gaze.” What is the difference between looking and gazing?Gazing is full of grace, yet to gaze at another or to be the object of another’s gaze often fills us with a sense of awkwardness. This awkwardness is self-consciousness. Gazing is easy when we gaze at infants and toddlers because they are not yet self-conscious. With babies, we lose our self-consciousness. Gazing is a deed of a soul that is free of self-consciousness.
Each of us is born anew every moment. At this time when we celebrate nativity, gaze from the part of your being that is newborn into the souls of others and find what is newborn in them. (I feel this is such an ensouling experience, I do gazing exercises when ever I give a talk or lead a workshop.)
If you are sharing this message with your partner or a dear friend, try gazing at each other for one minute. Let the awkwardness be there. Let steady, even breathing keep you present. Keep your eyes soft and your heart open.
If you are alone, find a mirror and gaze at your reflection. Soft eyes, open heart.
During the Holy Nights feel the gaze of the Spiritual World. Gaze back with love and courage.
Thank you, my soul and spirit are blessed and encouraged.
ReplyDelete..words well spoken ; Thank you dear Lynn and along your line I wish to say. Gazing is a soul watching, no veil of ego in between the watcher and the reality.
ReplyDeletebasking in the heart. Maurizio
Needing others....Mediating "in the cave" can bring clarity and peace but it takes another person to push the button that shows me how I need to grow.
ReplyDeleteGazing....There is nothing as magical and sensuous as the gazing into the eyes of a new lover. Why do we stop doing this after love get's old? Thanks for the reminder of this connection to the soul. SCS
DISREGARD....It is so easy to reel in the pain of rejection upon being disregarded by others. Thank you for reminding me that it is indeed a reflection of how much we need to have our presence acknowledged and accepted. This revelation comes at a relevant time during the holiday season when family gatherings can cause us to feel disregarded while in the midst of our extended families. I am reminded to seize this moment of neglect and invisibility as an opportunity to reach out through our pain and touch someone, thereby nourishing our own souls.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the opportunity to share this discussion.
These lines reflect an experience I've had too many times now, in opening up to someone in my family who has not even acknowledged a message I sent her. The message was about a very difficult situation close to me. I sent the message in an attempt to bridge a gap. I am now inclined to send her this same excerpt. Thank you.
ReplyDelete"There is one dreadful, painful social experience, but it is the proof of our need for others. There is nothing more painful or damaging, than disregard. When you are not reflected by another’s soul, when you find no mirror, you feel like you have fallen into the abyss of non-existence. It is like your soul cannot breathe.
In the coming year, do not let others fall into an abyss when they seek their reflection in your soul. See the other, no matter who they are, no matter what your social feelings. Keep your social mirror polished."
The comments of NYC family touches me in the Heart. The words of disregarded did awake my pain of being disregarded... now I can see it as an opportunity to reach out....
ReplyDeleteI was surprised to learn that there are three mirrors, never realized that. It is clear to me now how it works...
The part about Gazing did touch my Soul... to see one another without judgement or thoughts, just look and see, with an open heart.
I will gaze to myself in my mirror.. and heal the pain of being disregarded.
Thank you Lynn and others here
Yesterday my son came to me crying because of a disregard he experienced with one of his friends, and it brought up a resonant pain in me from similar events of my own this year.
ReplyDeleteIt seems the holidays can heighten the sting of rejection, when the gesture of my affection isn't matched or even returned. The stakes seem higher, the heart pain sharper for all the glowing background of goodwill and gifting.
It's hard to admit that part of the appeal of hibernation is to avoid the social impulses of the season, to justify antipathy. But this is a place to purge self-pity, not indulge it.
I can resolve in the coming year to be more mindful of how I regard all who seek their reflection in my mirror, and take care not to disregard anyone. Excellent call.
Yet the inner work requires I polish BOTH sides of the mirror by looking clearly at those times when I'm disregarded by others. What does that pain teach? And how can I practice the Second of Don Miguel Ruiz' Four Agreements: Don't Take Anything Personally?
Sometimes this grace descends from basking in the glow of Divine Regard. I am alive and so am loved. I am Loved...
Basking = Be Asking
Ask and ye SHALL receive (thank you)
Gazing - what a wonderful Inner Christmas gift you have given me! Gazing takes away all the negativity from your eyes and allows you to look at someone with nothing but light and expectation. I practiced on my grandson (12) and even he could see the difference. I want to see everyone with a gaze upon my face from now on. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful for Lynn's presentation--it's so helpful to read the grace that other people live.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about the three feelings of sympathy, antipathy and empathy that we mirror to others and the experience of disregard that many painfully recognize. There's another, even more destructive message that many experience potently from others,and that is the experience of feeling contempt or judgment for or from others. It's a real soul-killer, yet a significant weapon in the arsenal of religious zealotry. Jesus cautions us to leave it to God. Good news! Setting it aside opens the heart to the possibility of gazing with appreciation on others and one's own soul and discovering the beauty there. Thanks, Lynn for sharing your insights.