Saturday, December 27, 2008

December 28 - The Fourth Holy Night - The Need for Intimate Solitude

Covering over the Three Mirrors

Having spent the first three Holy Nights contemplating the three mirrors of the soul, it is now time to address the need to place a cover over the mirrors and experience intimate solitude.

When your “I” meets and embraces all the ways of being “I” without any distractions you become “all one.” Gloriously alone, you are in the blessed state of intimate solitude. The Holy Nights are the most favorable and supportive time of year for intimate solitude.

The great admonition, “O Human Soul, Know Thyself!” urges us to spend purposeful time in intimate solitude. This need for self-knowledge is not found reflected in the mirrors of nature, divinity or other human souls.

Of course, the path to intimate solitude requires us to spend much time gazing into the essential mirrors, studying our reflections. However, we will reach an inner truth that tells us these reflections are just reflections, images of who we are in particular contexts but not who we are at our core.

Nature reflects our soul's nature. We see ourselves as beings of nature. (so many of the Inner Christmas readers have made comments regarding what they love in nature, what are they declaring about their soul?)

Divinity reflects the kernel of the divine within your soul. (What does your feeling about divinity say about your sense of yourself as a being of spirit?)

Other souls reflect back to us our humanity, our selfishness and our unselfishness.

I am I - The Void

Tonight, let go of these reflections and find your self as self - I am I. Be the sun drawing back to its core all the sun rays. All the “I am ‘something’” statements you can make... I am my thoughts.... I am my feelings.... I am my intentions and deeds....I am my stories....I am my body and my biology...can only be stated by the I speaking about a small part of all the I is.

Create for your soul the state of intimate solitude. The Holy Nights are a time and a place to establish a state of consciousness where you release, avoid, ignore, or disappear all reflective identifications and images. Create a void in your soul. Usually a void will immediately call in some substance to fill it. For just the briefest moment attempt to hold the void. The void is the I that contains all the other I’s. Trust your angel, the guardian of your void, to help you in this experience. This may be only a fleeting sensation.

I am sure you know how to ride a bike, but the first time you tried to ride a bike without training wheels or your parent holding you up, you could only maintain your balance for a fleeting moment. But you kept trying. Keep trying for the experience of intimate solitude.

A Walk with I am I

Another exercise, perhaps easier, perhaps not: Your “I am I” invites one of your “I am 'something's” to go for an inner walk - a walk of intimate solitude - and have a conversation. Your “I am I,” innocent and full of wonder, wants to learn about and from the “I am ‘something’.” Tear up some strips of paper and write on each one an “I am” image. “I am my thought that_________.” I am too fat. I am a writer. I am my feeling of sadness. I am afraid of dying. Fold up each strip and put them in a bowl. Mix them up. Choose one. Now go for an inner walk of intimate solitude. Ask your “I am__________.” a question. Listen to the answer carefully with your heart. You will find self-knowledge in the answer.

After doing this exercise several times, I suggest you take “I am a self-judger” or “I am a self-critic” for an inner walk. Don’t be surprised if what you learn about this “I am”, brings tears or laughter.

The need for intimate solitude is the soul's need for self-knowledge. Meeting this need is a source of great joy, self-liberation, and tender wisdom.


A note of appreciation

I want to thank everyone for sharing their comments. You are enriching my experience of each need. They are truly beautiful. Lynn


  1. Good Morning Friends,

    I am so glad that I took Lynn's advice to follow this Inner Christmas *as I can.* I am leaving Monday to spend three days on Silent Retreat at Prince of Peace Benedictine Abbey. My end-of-year time there is always *self directed* and I am adding these reflections to my bag. I always have to be very very careful that I do not take to much *to read* and not leave the necessary time for reflection, and mostly for just BEING and listening to God in my heart and not my mind.

  2. Synchronicity (certain & divine)! Yesterday, I took my memoir, seasoning for some two years on my top shelf, down to my work table. I had seasoned too and was ready once more to pick up this labor, this joy.

    Immediately, my home was full of family members, old friends and neighbors, colleagues ... and what was the reflection for yesterday? The Need for Others!

    This morning I go to my work table, eager to continue the work ... the home still full of those who have shaped my life. And what is the reflection for today? Solitude!

    Oh, my, whatever shall I do?

    Dear Lynn, I'm having the time of my life with these 12 night celebrations and reflections. Gracias.


  3. The 2007 Inner Christmas exercises were the beginning of a long period of solitude and self reflection. I am so grateful to Lynn for the inspiration to begin a journey of self growth that is fostered today by being a student of A Course in Miracles. The time spent in solitude, reflection, meditation and prayer have led me to a place in my life I could not have imagined year ago.

    I love how Lynn speaks of "holding a void" in ones soul. It is profound. When I was finally able to hold the void in my soul long enough, I allowed Love to flow in and, in doing so, to flow out. I am I. I am love. SCS

  4. As I read the message immediatly there was the memorie of years ago. During my study I enjoyed an Enligthment Intensive and the first Question was: "Who are you?" The answer came after one and a half day as the gift of the intimate solitude: "I am".

    So yesterday that feeling came back and as if no time was between then and now... there it was... just be ... I am.

    Thanx Lynn


  5. Looking for signs in nature, at sunset on the 4th night we were taken by a flock of crows. There must have been hundreds of crows. I've never seen such a large flock, or Murder of Crows, as poets describe.

    Trying to find the meaning ... a community of birds that are symbols of spiritual death on the date of intimate solitude ...

  6. Thank you Lynn.

    It has never occurred to me to talk with that "I am I" part of me, the pure, innocent, perfect, divine part of me. What conversations! And what a wonderful realization that I can go within myself and talk to myself, and LISTEN, and I can do it right where I am. Even under a pile of sleeping children. I have lately been lamenting the lack of "me" time I have been getting, the absence of time with no one in my arms or on my body. I've been craving that solitude and have not known how to get it, especially in the middle of illnesses and teething and growth spurts- but maybe even when my body is touching one of those many lovely people who share my home, my mind can go inside me and peacefully and quietly get to know that "I am I". And maybe that will be solitude enough for now. :D

  7. My new year started like this....decent sleep after much insomnia, laughter with my young children and husband, and criticism from my brother on how I am raising his daughter which lead to much self-doubt. Why does the last hold so much weight?
    Truly letting myself feel "I am I" set me off balance for that moment and it felt freeing.

    Thank you.